February 9, 2021 by Toku on Mindset, Skillset

How I Reply To Social Media Posts I Don’t Agree With

Anti-vaccination posts.
Anti-mask posts.
Posts about Bill Gates being a Lizard King
Posts that spread racist or sexist ideas

You see them all the time. You don’t agree with them. But what do you do about them?

This question comes up for me all the time. And each time I’m torn.

On the one hand, I know that allowing misinformation and bigotry to spread unchecked only makes things worse.

On the other hand, EVERY time I respond to one of these posts I get attacked, piled on, dismissed, or even worse I somehow seem to invite more conflict from both sides.

So what do you do?

To be honest, this is why I avoid commenting on posts I disagree with, but when I do I have found one way to offer a different perspective that seems to create the most space for people to connect around their shared values.

Here’s what I do:

1) Talk about your own experience – Instead of telling people they’re dumb or crazy. Simply share your own experience of you’ve grown and changed in your understanding.

For example, this year I bought a gun for target shooting. I believe in gun control and yet when I went to buy my gun I found the process frustrating. It seemed like there were so many loops to jump through and details to manage. But then I remembered that if I was angry or bent on violence all the steps and safeguards may have given me space to really think about my actions, it might have helped me calm down, and decide to not hurt someone I cared about. I get how annoying it is, but I’m glad we have laws that help keep us safe.

Now when I talk to people who are against gun restrictions I can share this experience. Not from a place of ‘guns are bad and you’re a violent nut for liking them,’ but from a place where I truly honor the desire to do something you enjoy and the frustration with laws that seem to get in the way of that.

By sharing your own experiences of how you relate to an issue, you make your opinions about you. You invite people into a story of your life, rather than creating a story about theirs.

2) Honor other people’s feelings – Often when we disagree with someone we discount how they feel. How can they be angry at immigrants? How can they be scared of something that’s been proven safe? How can they feel so reassured by false facts?

But even though they may have come to a different conclusion, their feelings are real.

SO when you talk to people honor their feelings. Express empathy with their desire for freedom, the longing for safety, their sense of unfairness, and then offer a new way to look at the same issue.

“I understand that you get angry at the thought that people who break the law might take jobs from law-abiding citizens, it makes sense, and I learned something the other day about immigrant labor that made me think differently about that.

“I understand that vaccines feel scary and that after hearing some people’s stories you feel cautious. When I hear those stories a part of me feels worried too.”

When you do this, you’re letting them know, ‘ You’re not crazy to feel that way’ and I have a different take on it. When you really hear people, you make it easier for them to hear you.

3) Don’t make other people wrong – Finally, if you can, don’t make the people you’re disagreeing with wrong. We usually do this by saying things like

“people who don’t wear masks are idiots” or “anyone who doesn’t get their kids vaccinated is a bad parent”

If someone is calling you an idiot or a bad parent, you’re not likely to listen to them.

So instead let them be who they are and simply offer an alternative point of view.

“I get that people who don’t wear masks care about their personal freedom, but for me, I realized that in this case, my freedom might hurt someone I love.”

“I can really feel the love anti-vax parents have for their kids. I care about my kids too and I’m scared they might get sick from some of the horrible diseases we have vaccines for. . . “

By understanding and honoring their intentions even if you disagree with their conclusions makes a big difference.

At our core, we all want the same things. We want our friends and family to be safe and happy. And while the strategies we use to get there might be different, the desire is the same.

Learning how to tap into this, is sort of like a magic spell. One that helps us connect with the deep humanity underneath opinions and points of view. If you can learn to come from this place consistently there’s so much that’s possible. ANd it’s this kind of deep compassion that our world needs now more than ever.

January 5, 2021 by Toku on Mindset

You Are Wrong About Freedom

I talk to a lot of people who long to be free. They want to express themselves, travel the world, live in the moment, go with the flow, and experience life as a boundless possibility.

I get the desire for freedom because freedom seems to offer so much possibility. And a lot of other things we want have the promise of freedom wrapped up in them.

Wealth is really about the freedom to buy any experience or item you want. Attractiveness gives you greater freedom to choose partners. Confidence gives you the freedom to take risks and be yourself.

But even though freedom is compelling I found that people who seek freedom rarely achieve it. Because . . .

When it comes time to do work, they don’t feel like it. When it comes time to invest energy into a big project, their doubts arise. When a relationship is challenging, they’re looking for the exit.

But the missing piece in all of this is the freedom to commit.

If freedom is all about the ability to choose what we want, then having the ability to NOT exercise our freedom is an integral part of that ability.

I’d say it’s at least 50% of freedom and it may be the most important half.

How we relate to commitment –

Often the way we relate to commitment is that it’s a trap. It’s something we say we’re going to do, a person we promise to be with, a project we’re going to complete and then immediately we feel the restriction of that.

What a moment ago was a choice, now is a prison.

Many of us have felt the burden of the commitments to school, a partner we no longer love, or a project we don’t really care about anymore. This burden can make us feel like commitment is never a good idea and always a trap.

But this is a very basic understanding of commitment.

If you look up various definitions of commitment you’ll read words like dedication, and engagement. But you’ll also read words like obligation and restriction.

Both are parts of what a commitment is, but what makes the biggest difference is how we relate to our commitments.

If you choose to take your commitment and turn it into a parent. Into a thing that is oppressing you.

That’s how it will feel. And then freeing yourself from that will feel liberating.

I made a commitment to work. But work feels hard. I’m afraid my writing, coaching, or whatever will be bad.

So I’ll rebel. It will be like a kid when I snuck a cookie from the jar. It will feel so good.

Except when you do this over and over again, you’re not free.

The freedom you’re creating is an illusion.

You built a prison and escaped from it.

But the cycle repeats again and again.

The path out.

The pathway out of this is to make a commitment. Not as an obligation, or should, but as a choice from a part that is deeper than the part that seeks a sort of false freedom.

When you do this you may actually experience a whole new kind of freedom. The freedom of commitment.

At the monastery, I never had to decide when to wake up. That freed me up to focus on practice, to be engaged with my life. I was free from that choice because of my commitment. Some mornings I love it, others I hated it, but the freedom was there either way.

Part of why I ask for a minimum of 6 months of commitment in my coaching is the freedom that it offers.

We’re not wondering week to week if we’re doing this. We’re here. We’re in. Stuff will come up, but we’ll face it together.

For me, that offers a very deep kind of freedom. A kind of freedom that is only possible on the other side of commitment. It took me a long time to learn this and it still shows up from time to time.

I don’t want to write when I said I would. I wonder what it would be like to be with someone else when I’m in a relationship. I dream about having so much money I wouldn’t ever have to budget or plan I could just get what I wanted.

But when I look at people with a lot of wealth, or fame, or beauty. Not many of them seem really free to me. In some ways many of them seemed the most trapped of all.

I’ve learned to understand that while the first kind of freedom feels good in the moment, over time the freedom commitment offers is even better.

It’s the freedom to choose and be with my choice. It’s the freedom to be with the hard parts of life without needing it to be different. It’s the freedom to find new ways to empower what’s happening and truly live in the present moment, even when that present moment is challenging.

So for me, there’s no freedom without commitment. Not random or obligated commitment. But the kind of commitment that comes from a place deep inside of me.

February 26, 2015 by Toku on Meditations

The Past and Future of MindFitMove

Over the last 2 and half years I’ve been writing this blog all about how to live a more mindful life.

At first the blog was focused on exercise and mindfulness. Then I sort of stopped writing about exercise, mostly because I lost interest in it myself, and the blog became a general mindfulness blog. Even more recently I shifted my focus to teaching you to use mindfulness to create lasting happiness.

But during the 30 Day Happiness Challenge I realized that as interested as I am in happiness, it’s not really what I want to write about. I met so many of you struggling with depression and anxiety. I heard your pain and wanted to help, but I felt stuck, because I’ve never dealt that much with depression and anxiety.

Yes, I’ve had times of depression and have felt fear, but it’s not the same as what many of you have experienced, and I felt a bit at a loss. I wanted to help, and I think mindfulness can help, but I’m not sure it’s my mission. I’m not sure it’s the work I’m called to , and I know I have to listen to that.

So over the past few days and weeks I’ve been doing a lot of soul searching about what I want to write, who I want to write for, and the change I want to make in the lives of my readers. And as I did this soul searching I realized that while I love this blog I need to make a change.

I need to let go of this vehicle that carried me up to this point and create something new that speaks to work I’m being called to do.

What does that mean?

It means is that within the next few months I’m going to be retiring the MindFitMove blog and domain to launch a new blog and site around my more clearly defined mission and identity.

It also means I’ll be shifting the focus of my blog slightly to fit into this new container. I’m doing this not because I’m bored with what I’m doing now but because I want to be true to the mission I’ve grown into.

In addition to a new focus, here are some things I’m going to commit to as I make this shift:

More Consistent Posting – Right now I post MindFitMove kind of at random. I try to do two posts a week, but I haven’t been solid on that. I want to be 95% consistent on my new blog by posting every Tuesday and Thursday without fail. This way you’ll know what you can expect from the blog and from me.
Post In Your Mail – I used to put my posts in my emails to the list and I stopped this, because someone told me it was good marketing. I’m going to return to this format so that you don’t have to click on my site to read the post. Instead you can read them straight from your email. I’m doing this, because I want to make the process of reading as easy as possible for you.
More Research – I’m going to start doing more research for the blog so that the posts aren’t just stories but have some scientific meat behind them. I want to give you more than anecdotes and real substance along with a sense of humor and my own vulnerable experience.
More specific topics – I’ve covered a lot of ground at Mind Fit Move, and this made the blog hard to follow. With my new blog I’m going to focus on just a few areas. Right now I think I’ll be writing about personal and professional performance. Specifically how to improve your relationships, your work, your mind, and live the life of your dreams. At least that’s what my thoughts are right now, but of course this will change as I work to define my new direction.
Simpler cleaner design – I’ve been dragging my feet on paying someone to design a site for me and I’ve decided I need to bite the bullet and spend the money. It will cost me a bit up front, but I know it will improve the readability and loading speed of the site. My hope is that a better design will make the experience of reading my blog and using my site more enjoyable.
More Joint Ventures and different kinds of content – I’d like to connect more with other amazing bloggers to bring you more types of content including videos and challenges. I also want to create some simple home study courses you can use to help work on specific area’s you’re struggling with. (Note: This is probably 24 or more months out)
A whole lot more
– One of the things I know this renewed focus will help me do is have more engagement with my readers and provide content that changes lives. It’s been a hard choice to retire the name and brand I spent so long creating, but I know in my heart it’s time to move on to something simpler and more in line with my work.

Final Thoughts

For now nothing much will change. I’ll still be posting on this blog regularly and the site will still be up. In fact it will likely take me longer than a couple months to make the change to the new site. Having said that I want to let you all know I have been and continue to be very grateful for your support and honesty.

So many of you have shared your lives with me and I’m honored that you let me share mine with you. It has been a great pleasure writing this blog for all of you and I hope that if you continue to enjoy my writing, then I can count on you to support me through this period of transition.

Thank you for being the most amazing readers anybody could ever have. I might be biased but I think you all rock an overwhelming amount.

Toku

March 24, 2014 by Toku on Mindset

The One Email You Should Write Everyday

About a year ago I watched a TED talk that outlined some very simple things you could do to make yourself happier. Some of them I had heard before, like exercising and meditating. But one idea that stuck out was when they encouraged everyone, to do one daily good deed, by sending out a nice email every morning.

Instantly, I loved the simplicity of this idea as well as its ritualistic nature. How often do we get so caught up in our own affairs and forget to reach out to the people who make our lives better?

And so, for the past six to nine months I’ve been writing at least one nice email everyday.

Some of the emails have been simple thank you notes to people who were nice to me. Some of them were to old friends to let them know how much they meant. And some of them were to people who I thought needed to hear something nice.

But each email changed the way I saw the recipient, as well as the way I saw myself. Here are some things I discovered about the practice of sending one nice email a day.

Writing Nice Emails Is Easier Than You Think

One thing that amazed me was how easy nice emails are to write. When I started this practice, I was worried that my emails would seem forced. That I would come off sounding inauthentic. And that people wouldn’t take me seriously.

But I found as I started to write my heart would step forward and I would able to write with sincerity.

I realized we don’t have to go far to find admiration for the people in our lives. Instead I found that again and again, I was inspired by all the amazing, kind, beautiful, smart, and talented people I’ve been blessed to know.

People Appreciate Small Gestures More Than You Realize

Often not long after I hit send I’d receive a reply telling me how much my email had meant.

One reply I received was from an old teacher who told me my email had come at a moment when he had been doubting his choice of profession. Another came from an old friend who told me they had been facing some hard times I had known nothing about.

And while I didn’t write the emails so people would thank me, each reply made me so blessed to have been able to offer kind words to others in their time of need.

You Don’t Realize How Much You Mean to Others

While I didn’t send these emails so that other people would appreciate me, I did receive many kind emails in return.

Best of all, their replies reveled qualities in me that others admired, but that I’d never considered a strength.

The emails I got in return helped me to really absorbed the compassion of others. And to see how our lives often touch others in mysterious ways.

And while it’s totally fine when I don’t get a reply. The bounty I did receive far outweighed the cost of a few minutes of typing.

Being Kind is its Own Reward

Despite the personal benefits and kind replies, the best thing I’ve gotten from this practice is a more positive outlook. Everyday I remember to write an email I find that it’s harder to be grumpy or sad. Plus it’s changed the way I look at the people around me.

Part of rediscovering deep admiration for everyone in my life has been to realize that everyone admires, inspires, and cares about each other more than you ever would’ve guessed.

How To Get Started:

The best thing about the nice email practice is how simple it is to get started.

1. Make a Top Ten List

Make a list of the top 10 people you’d like to tell how much you care or how much you appreciate. Pick people who’ll be easy and fun to write to.

Then every morning write a short email or letter to one person on the list. This short list will get you started and it’ll encourage you connect with old friends, acknowledge the people who have helped you, and get grounded in gratitude.

2. Select a Phase or Location of Your Life to Focus On.

After you finish your first list, it can be hard to know where to go next. I’ve found that if I focus my energy on appreciating one group of friends or one time in my life that it’s much easier to keep going.

When I first started writing nice emails, I wrote quite a few to my friends back in Nashville. I hadn’t kept in touch with many of them when I moved and I wanted to reach out and reconnect. Eventually I had written to most of my closet friends from my old how town.

By focusing on my friends in Nashville, not only was it easier for me to pick subjects, it was easier for me to connect with and remember all the things I loved about those friends and those times in my life.

3. Go All Willy Nilly

Eventually a day will come where you aren’t sure whom you should write to. When this happens I usually just go into my contact list or onto my friends page on Facebook and pick someone at random.

While this can be harder, I’ve found that by going on and looking with an open heart, I often find people to express kindness to that I might normally miss.

This method has helped me write emails to long lost college friends and even to fellow employees from jobs I can hardly remember. But each time I’ve been glad to realize how even these small players of my small life have had an impact on who I am.

Final Thoughts

There are so many things we can and do spend time on. And it can be easy to believe that sending a nice email a day is a silly or pointless exercise.

But what I’ve discovered is that despite all the Upworthy posts and the touching YouTube videos so many of us are starved for real personal appreciation.

And this simple act of sending a nice email not only offers a true blessing to the world, but it is one of the easiest ways to make everyday I little better.

So I invite you to try it. Close this post and open up a composition widow, and send a email to someone you love. Then come back and tell me how it went. I promise it’s an amazing way to begin your day.

February 12, 2014 by Toku on Skillset

My Instant Fitness Transformation

Running in the City at Night

Tonight I went for a run on a soggy night in Portland and as I hit the waterfront I was struck by how beautiful the city looked.

The lights shone soft and smooth through the falling rain. The shimmering ground reflected patches of architecture that shattered as I stepped through them. And the whoosh of the cars joined the tiny pats of water falling on my hood to create a soundscape so subtle and familiar that I couldn’t help but smile.

As I ran, I realized that this more than anything else is why I exercise. Sure there’s the living longer, the looking younger, and the stress relief. But I get all of those things from exercise. There are only the ends to the exercise means.

The real reasons I exercise are the moments where my body and heart transport me to another place. Even when that other place is one I’ve been to many times.

You see, some people think that exercise changes your life because you lose weight or build muscle. But the truth is that exercise changes your life because the act itself transports and transforms you.

You don’t have to wait for the results because the results are instantaneous. In fact waiting for the results will only make you miss how everything change the moment you step out the door.

To me that’s what living an active mindful life is all about.

Instant Fitness Transformation

The key to this instant transformation is simple, but not always easy. All you have to do is:

1. Let go of results –

The results don’t come from the future, they come straight from your body as you move.

2. Let go of expectations –

easy or hard, each moment of exercise can bring a new discovery if you let it.

3. Let go of your image –

No matter what you do, your body will eventually fall apart. But this moment can be powerful, if it’s not about how you look.

4. Let go of imperfection –

Don’t believe people when they tell you you’re broken. Instead, listen to the truth in your heart that tells you you’re whole.

5. Let go of yourself –

The real transformative power of exercise comes when you get out of the way. The energy that flows through you is ancient and primal. When you become open to moving without it being about you, then you can truly access a place of amazing presence.

Invitation

I invite you to join me in changing our lives, not by running a hundred miles, but by running the next one with attention.

I invite you to join me in this present moment, whenever we get the chance.

I invite you to join me in exercising the power of your life.

Because exercise isn’t just the path. Exercise and the connection it creates to your body is the destination you arrive at over and over again on the journey to a more mindful and balanced life.

November 4, 2013 by Toku on Mindset

Why Being Perfect Sucks

I think my girl friend is the most beautiful when she first wakes up in the morning. Her hair sticks up, she’s kind of bleary eyed, and she always has this cute little smile.

Sure she doesn’t look as well put together as she might for a night out on the town. But she looks like herself in such an authentic way I find very appealing.

The reason I find it appealing is that, in that moment, her flaws aren’t hidden.

So often the fitness world and the world in general tells us to be perfect. It wants us to take sexy selfies and post only our most awesome adventures on social media.

But I think this is lame. Because it’s not the things that make us perfect that create beauty. It’s our flaws.

Kintsugi

There is a form of Japanese pottery called Kintsugi, where broken pottery is repaired using gold dust. This kind of pottery takes what many people would consider a flaw and draws attention to it.

It acknowledges a truth that our flaws create our unique beauty. There are many ways to create a nice cup, but the way that cup cracks is truly unique.

I understand that we live in a society that values beauty and the perception of perfection. From airbrushed super models, to fitness pictures that show the ripped muscles of professional body builders, there is a lot of imagery telling us how we should look.

So I’d like to offer you 5 simple ways to celebrate your imperfections and appreciate your own unique beauty.

1. Your Hands

Look at your hands. Your hands are one of the most interesting parts of your body. Maybe you think that they are ugly or knobbily or that you could be a hand model. But no matter what you think, your hands carry some very interesting information.

You hands tell a story about your life and the life of those that came before. You see hands don’t change much from generation to generation. So the hands you look at, look a lot like your parents hands, your grandparent’s hands, even your great great great grand parents hand.

Look at your hands and watch them move. Your hands are amazing and speak to the unique history or your past.

2. Your Eyes

Eyes are like snow flakes, no two sets are alike. Sure there may be color categories but your irises hold amazing variation and complexity.

Go stand in front of a mirror and look into your eyes. Focus on your pupils and irises. Notice all the subtle lines and the small variations in color. Notice how they move ever so slightly looking into themselves.

They say the eyes are the windows to the soul. Appreciate the unique expression of these windows in the world.

3. Your Belly Button

Belly buttons have always fascinated me. And perhaps that is a bit strange. Perhaps it’s because my belly button is kind of tucked into bed. It’s an innie but the top is peaking out a little bit. Because of this oddity, I’ve taken the time to notice other people’s belly buttons.

Take a minute and check yours out. Belly buttons tell us something very important. They tell us that we were once connected to another human being. There was a tether that tied us to someone else.

And though that tether is no longer there. The evidence is right there on our stomach, for us to see and appreciate.

4. Your Breath

Breathing is nothing short of one of the coolest things we do. We suck a mixture of gasses into our body. Then tiny little cells extract oxygen from those gases and excrete carbon dioxide.

But that’s not all that’s involved. Our mouth, nose, and throat prepare those gasses for our sensitive fragile lungs. They filter out toxins and particles. They warm and moisturize the air. They use that air to shape sound and change the quality of our breath.

Close your eyes, listen, and feel your breath. Focus on your nose first, then your throat, then your chest, then your abdomen, and finally see if you can feel each breath enter your body.

The way your body breathes is unlike anyone else’s. Your breath feeds your life, which is different from anyone else’s. And each breath is unique and beautiful.

5. Your Life

No one has ever lived the life you have lived. No one else has faced the same challenges. Sure there are similarities and commonalities. And we need these to learn and to be connected, but no one else can walk your life for you.

And because of that, no one can really tell you who to be or what you should do. You are the only one that can live this life. The Bhagavad-Gita says that living your life full of mistakes is better than living anyone else’s life to perfection.

Create a short time line for your life. Start at the day of your birth and draw a line that goes until today, then draw another line that leads from today until your death.

Then add important events along the way. Taking special attention to add events of beauty. You can write down the events or cut out pictures. Do this until you get up to today.

Then write things you want to do in the future between today and your death. It doesn’t have to be a million things but at least 3 – 5 things of beauty you want to do before you die.

Once your done take time to appreciate the unique beauty this life has to offer. Because whether or not they write a book about you, your story has touched other people’s stories is ways you can never know.

Question: Where do you find beauty in odd places? What about your unique life and body do you appreciate?

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Photo Credits

October 30, 2013 by Toku on Mindset

Which World Do You Belong To?

I recently saw this Image

And then I read about the controversy that surrounded it.

The thing I took away was that for some people there exists two worlds.

The Two Worlds

The first world:

is made up of people that look like this

And This

And They Eat Things Like This:

And This

And They Post Things On Their Facebook Pages Like This:

And This

The Second World

is made up of people that look like this

And This

And They Eat Things Like This:

And This

And They Post Things On Their Facebook Pages Like This:

And This

If you read the internet then you probably think

This is what the first world thinks about themselves:

I worked hard to get this body and I’m proud of it.
I’m sexy and people like that, how could that be wrong.
Life is about staying focused, being successful, and looking good.

This is what the second world thinks about themselves:

It’s not my fault I’m overweight. It’s bad genetics, it’s McDonalds, it’s my kids etc.
I hate that I’m fat, but I can’t change it.
I look awful and feel awful about myself
or
I’m proud to be fat and I don’t give a crap what you think.

This is what the first world thinks about the second:

Stop making excuses and start getting in shape.
You have no one to blame for your weight but you. If you worked as hard as I do you could look as good as me.
It sucks that people bully you, but what do you expect. If you really want to shut them up pick up a barbell and put down that fork.

This is what the second world thinks about the first:

Those fitness models probably all have eating disorders.
Fit people have OCD and they are all about shaming fat people.
Those bodies aren’t realistic and they are causing people to hate themselves.

Well I’m here to tell you that all of this is:

BULLSHIT

We all live in one world where people look like this:

And This

And This

And This

And They Eat Things Like This:

And This

And They Post Things On Their Facebook Pages Like This:

And This

The One World

The world is complicated and diverse. But there is one of it.

So I encourage you to not put yourself in one group or another, but to see that we all long to be more whole, to be more connected, to be more wise, and to be more loving.

The problem with images like this

Is that they divide the world into two.

Those that make excuses and those that don’t

Those that work hard and those that don’t

Those that look like this and those that don’t.

But there aren’t two worlds, there aren’t two moons, and there aren’t two you’s.

The you who you are and you who could be.

There is only you perfect and whole just as you are.

And everything you are, or have been, or will be is right there in the center of your chest.

Whenever you forget this –

Close your eyes

And say to yourself

May I be free from fear and anxiety

May I be at ease

May I be happy

Repeat this whenever you need a moment to love who you are right here right now

Thanks for reading! Please subscribe this blog to join hundreds of people who want to honor their lives and create amazing lasting change. Plus get your free guide A Sexy Guide to Your Sexy Mind just for signing up.)

If you liked this post you might also like these posts:

How NOT to Suck at Dieting

Why Being Perfect Sucks

Minimalist Health: 5 Unbelievably Easy Ways To Live Healthier

Mind Fit Food – 5 Tips for Keeping a Mindful Fitness Journal

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October 22, 2013 by Toku on Meditations

5 Reasons Your Mom Is My Fitness Hero

You Go MOM!

5 Reasons Your Mom Is My Fitness Hero

I have a fitness hero, but it’s not who you might think it is. It’s not Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jillian Michaels, or even Tim Ferris. No, it’s not anyone who’s ever been on TV or won a sport championship.

In fact, my fitness hero isn’t even someone who coached me in high school or even who played sports growing up. They’re not a Para Olympian, or someone who lost 300 lbs.

I think all of those people are really noble, wonderful, and inspiring. But the person who is my fitness hero is someone that you’ve never heard about unless you read my blog. My fitness hero is your mom.

But not just your mom, but my mom too and many other people like my girlfriend Jane, my friend Katie and many other people I call the Un-athlete.

The Un-athlete

Let’s just take my girlfriend as an example of the un-athlete. She didn’t do sports growing up. She doesn’t run a sub-20 min 5k. And she might not ever place in her age group. She exercises and competes because she enjoys it and it helps her be a better person.

Even though she may never host weight loss reality TV show. It’s her and other un-athletes like her that give me the greatest inspiration, because their struggle is what transformation through movement is all about.

Five Ways Un-Athletes Inspire Me

1.Glory

I love watching the Olympics and being in aw of what humans are capable of doing. And I think people who overcome adversity are super inspiring. But there is one thing those people often have that un-athletes never get. And that is glory.

Most people will never know that your mom or my mom ran a marathon. But that doesn’t matter to un-athletes, because they knows they ran it.

The un-athlete will never get their picture on the cover of the runners’ world or men’s health. But they are better for it, because their drive to move comes from a very authentic place.

It’s the absence of glory that makes un-athletes so admirable. Despite all the hype from media about pro sports being about the game, for the un-athlete there is never any doubt.

They are the heart of every game and every race. They embody our beautifully ordinary desire to rise above our own limitations. Whether they are greeted by flash bulbs or not.

2. Challenge

In the world of fitness, we tend to praise those who overcome great challenges. Shows like the biggest loser and extreme makeover dramatize the struggle of people to change their lives.

I think those struggles are inspiring, but those shows leave something out. They leave out the mundane and simple challenges most of us face in our quest to stay healthy.
But the un-athlete embodies those challenges in everything they do.

I watched my girlfriend head out weekend after weekend on long runs that she sometimes didn’t want to do. I watched her prioritize her training over other commitments. I watched her and others like her keep going at mile 20 of the marathon running on sheer intention alone.

To me that’s inspiring. I love running and I got a little tired of long runs, but I never wanted to stop. I can’t even imagine having to train like that when I was just effing sick of it.

But it’s the small challenges and overcoming them, that the un-athletes my hero. The mom finds time to run and take care of her kids. The grandmother goes to yoga to maintain her flexibility so she can keep gardening. These are the people that help me remember what exercise is all about.

3. Simplicity

The world of fitness is vast and complicated. It seems like every trainer and every gym has there own philosophy and approach. There’s compressive clothing, dietary supplements, and pacing strategies. Of course, all these things have their place.

But what I love about the un-athletes is the simplicity with which they approach exercise. It’s not about volume training, or fartleks, or WOD’s. It’s about getting out and moving their bodies.

They don’t need complex training plans. They just need enough structure and knowledge to make sure they don’t hurt themselves. My mom’s exercise plan is to walk for 30 mins a day with my dad. Sure, she’s not one of those ripped grannies, but she stays active and enjoys it.

That kind of simplicity demands a level of awareness that many fitness professionals have lost. Charts and plans have their place, but an un-athletes relies heavily on their ability to notice and adjust. And by watching them, I am reminded that no matter what the current fitness trend is, the best approach is usually the simplest one.

4. Perseverance

It’s easy to watch the cross fit games think that’s what fitness is all about pushing yourself to the limit. And yes, there is something to be said for pushing. But the un-athlete has something great then pure drive. They have perseverance.

Perseverance is defined as steadfastness in doing something despite difficulty or delay in achieving success. And the un-athlete has perseverance out the wazoo.

All those folks you see on the cross-fit games may have to work hard to be the best at the games, but they are usually top dog at their local gyms, boxes, and towns.

True perseverance comes from working hard even when you’re not the best, even in your group of friends.

I’ve watched my girlfriend play ultimate Frisbee and work really hard to catch and throw the disc with ease. What inspires me is that she keeps trying even though many of the people we play with are much better.

Whenever I watch her, I wonder if I would keep playing if I struggled that much. If I weren’t naturally athletic would I love movement as much as I do?

But the un-athlete keeps playing even if they are in the bottom half. They keep running even if the crowds are waning when they finish. They persevere to achieve a victory that is subtle and quiet.

5. For the Joy

I saw this commercial recently where a pro basketball player asks, “If you took away the money, the fame, the spotlight, the lifestyle, and all the things that come with it. If you took away all the flash, what would you have left?”

And he replies, “Everything.” But I wonder if that’s true.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JKWhh8mC0Ww

I have no doubt that people who are pro athletes must love sports. And I’m sure that Jillian Michaels loves her job, but it’s hard to know what would happen if you took it all away.

But with un-athletes, it’s already stripped away. And all that is left is the pure simple joy of movement.

The same joy you see when kids run and play. The same joy on a parents face when their child takes their first steps. The same simple and abiding ordinary joy that is so easy to take for granted.

That’s the joy I see in my mom, my girlfriend, and many of my clients. It’s the joy I feel when I let go of ambition and strategy.

The joy that mindful fitness works to create.

That’s why the un-athlete is my hero. Because they embody the presence of anyone who moves to experience their lives more deeply. Because they express a joy, I can only hope to feel and share for the rest of my life.

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July 28, 2013 by Toku on Meditations

Be Free, Organized, and Happy – The Best Posts May – July

The last 3 months have been really big for MindFitMove –
This blog has moved from 1,200 views in April to having over 6,000 views in July
In July I broke through not only the 10,000 view barrier but have now blasted past the 15,000 mark as well.

So here are the best posts of the Last 3 Months:

Plus here are some of the guest posts I wrote in the last 3 Months

I have many people to thank for this including but not limited to Jane Endacott my romantic partner and often editor, my parents, Lori Deschene of TinyBuddha, Peter Clemens of ChangeBlog, Leo Babauta of Zen Habits, and most importantly all of my readers who inspire, support, and keep honoring me with their attention.

Don’t Forget to Subscribe to Mind Fit Move for more great post from August and Beyong

Photo Credits

July 24, 2013 by Toku on Mindset

Do You Define Yourself and Your Life Negatively? – My Guest Post On TinyBuddha.com

I was lucky enough to have a guest post today on the Website tinybuddha.com.

Please head over and check it out.

Do You Define Yourself and Your Life Negatively?

Picture is From Tiny Buddha Post

By Samuel Gentoku McCree

Growing up on military bases I learned to make friends quickly. My family moved a half dozen times before I was out of the second grade, so I didn’t have many other options. But while living on base it was easy, because all us military brats were in the same boat.

In third grade my dad retired from the Air Force and we went to live in a small town just south of Nashville, Tennessee. Once we moved everything changed. Instead of living with the sons and daughters of service families, I went …

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This post will also be included in an awesome new course on tinybuddh.com about recreating your life story. Click here to take a 5 min quiz and find out about the course